Monday, July 30, 2007

Clay Aiken Mocks Justin Timberlake

On the video posted above, you will see Clay Aiken mocking Justin Timberlake.

Since Clay Aiken is seen as a joke in the music industry and by pretty much ALL people who aren't Clay-Mates, he really doesn't have room to be mocking anyone else.

Knowing the jealous bitch that Clay is, he is probably knocking Justin Timberlake because of the success Timberlake has achieved and the respect he has garnered in the recording industry.

Justin is creative and innovative. Clay Aiken is rapidly becoming a has been and it is doubtful that Clay possesses even one creative bone in his body. Ok...maybe one, but it's not musical, and it's not going to benefit his Claymates any. More likely, "Manhunt" conquests are the only ones who know it even exists.

Clay, before you go mocking other REAL artists, you might want to look around your own house and examine your own CD sales and take into account your urging of your followers to "BUY 8 THIS TIME!".

Somehow, I don't picture Justin Timberlake being in the position of having to beg people to buy his music.

The joke is REALLY on YOU, Clay. The joke REALLY IS you, Clay.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Mama's Notes to Clay Aiken: A Satire.

Believe it or not, I'm in possession of some of the little notes Faye used to put in Clay Aiken's lunch bag every day! Here is a small selection:


To my big kindergarten boy,

Why didn’t you wear the nice blue jeans and denim shirt that Mama laid out for you to wear this morning? I could hardly believe it when I saw you skipping out the backdoor wearing your cousin Nancy’s PINK shorts and striped top. Them’s girl-clothes, honey. Did you forget that you were having your school pictures taken today?



Dearest Clayton,

According to your teacher, you never spend recess playing soccer with the other boys. Instead, you prefer to stand on the sidelines and gossip with the little girls in your class. Make an effort to play with boys today; you may surprised how much like it!



Clayton, honey:

Don’t let them mean boys at school hurt your feelings when they tease you about your big ears. Remember, Dumbo has big ears too and he’s a movie star and also a ride at Disneyland. Maybe someday them mean boys will be watching you on a movie screen or havin’ the time of their lives ridin’ you!




I was sorry to hear about that boy in your class holding you upside down over the toilet and dunking you in. But remember: “The Lord sometimes takes us into troubled water not to drown us, but to cleanse us.”

Think about that.



Dear Clayton,

Sometimes I fear you are not adjusting well to your new step-daddy, Mr. Parker. Putting your skateboard in his path, throwing his electric razor into the tub while he’s taking a bath, and giving him that chocolate (was it REALLY chocolate, Clayton?) cupcake you made in your E-Z Bake Oven all just REEK of barely suppressed anger. I know Ray may not be your favorite person, but he makes Mama happy, unlike that no good, lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch -- may he rot in hell -- SPERM DONOR of yours that mama made the mistake of marrying many years ago. Anyway, please start treating Ray better. The Bible tells us we must respect our elders and show love to everyone.




Did you break that vase in the living room??? No, don’t even answer. We’re not going to believe you whatever you say.



Dear Clayton,

Your step-daddy and I were thrilled to hear your running for student president at your little school. Hurry home after school tonight as I want to tell you about a wonderful plan I have to stuff the ballot boxes with your name.


P.S. I hope you didn’t mind having a spam sandwich for lunch today; it was all we had in the house.


Dear Clayton,

Now that you are back to school from your suspension, I hope you will remember to keep your feet off other people’s desks!



Dear Clayton,

When I saw you walking out the door to school today, I felt a little nostalgic. Who would believe I gave birth to that six feet tall boy with the size thirteen feet? Thank goodness I still have little Brett with me during the day to keep me feeling young. I love to play games with him, join him in making crafts, and help him look for Waldo in his “Where’s Waldo?” books.

Who would believe any sane, fortysomething, American woman would spend her days looking for Waldo?!?




Remember to hurry home from school today. We need to do a final fitting on your Cher costume.




I’m not sure I really believe you accidentally ran over Fluffy last night. Brett said it looked like you deliberately steered the car in her direction. Now this afternoon I want you to come directly home from school -- NO GLEE CLUB, NO DRAMA CLUB, NO STANDING AROUND GOSSIPING WITH YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIENDS -- and scrape the remains of that poor kitten off your front tire so we can give it a proper Christian funeral in the backyard. We don’t want the neighbors calling the ASPCA again, like the time you ran over your pet goat with your bicycle.

Sometimes I wonder about you.


11th GRADE:

Dear Clayton,

Your step-daddy is not happy with you. This morning when he logged onto his computer to check the stockmarket, he could tell you had been using his computer without permission late last night after we’d all gone to bed. Please don’t do that anymore!

Your lovin’,

P.S. Who are “valleyprettyboy” and “skippermagee” and why was the keyboard so sticky this morning?



Have you given any thought to who you’ll be taking to the prom? I know you still think girls are “icky” and going to the prom will mean you have to take a bath or shower beforehand, but it would make your stepdaddy and me SO PROUD. Tell the “lucky girl” that I’ll even do up her hair before the big night.


P.S. Even if you don’t go to the prom, it still might be a good idea to take a bath or shower once in a while.

Thanks to Calliyuck for a VERY amusing blog!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Where Have All The Claymates Gone?

Clay Aiken is performing in 23 shows this summer, most of which are scheduled by date and location in groups of 3-4. The majority of these shows are part of summer concert series, either for the venue or the symphony for which Clay is a guest artist, and subscriptions are commonly purchased for these concerts.

Tonight’s performance is at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center, Newark, NJ and is only 30 minutes’ drive from NYC. Considering the proximity to NYC, this small venue is embarrassingly undersold. As of this morning, only 1,571 seats have been sold, and sales have not changed very much for over 7 weeks, only showing that the vast majority who wants to see Clay (= The Claymates) have bought their tickets long ago.

NJPAC, Newark, NJ, 07/28, 8:00 PM, Capacity: 2,750

Ticket sales tracking by the Claymates:

06/06 11PM – 1,419 seats sold (52%)

Orchestra ($93) - Singles Only - 9 Seats Available
Grand Tier ($83) - 5 Seats Available
First Tier ($83) - 159 Seats Available
Second Tier ($73) - 283 Seats Available
Third Tier ($73) - 327 Seats Available
Fourth Tier A-F ($43) - 269 Seats Available
Fourth Tier G-M ($38) - 279 Seats Available”

Over 7 weeks later, and as of this morning, only 152 more seats (5%) have been sold.

07/28 7 AM – 1,571 seats sold (57%)

Orchestra ($93) - Singles Only - 6 Seats Available
Grand Tier ($83) - Singles Only - 3 Seats Available
First Tier ($83) - 102 Seats Available
Second Tier ($73) - 216 Seats Available
Third Tier ($73) - 327 Seats Available
Fourth Tier ($43, $38) - 525 Seats Available

Most other venues have experienced disappointing sales, especially since there appears to be a lot of promotion for Clay’s shows. For example:

Mann Center (capacity: Philadelphia, PA:

“There wasn't a good turnout (sad because this show was promoted more than any other local show I can remember), but it was a diverse crowd."

Claymate estimates for attendance at the Mann Center in Philly were 2,600, or 18% of capacity.

Meadowbrook, Gilford, NH:

Two days before this show a Claymate posted:

“I'm going to Meadowbrook this time and I'm just nervous because they are only a little over a half sold. I sure am hoping, :pray since it's a resort area, that maybe people will buy tickets last minute. It's on Wednesday night, and right now there are so many empty seats it scares me. Any of you that want another concert, make arrangements quick for Meadowbrook. Hey, what's another plane ticket, or long drive.”

This Claymate has cause to be concerned. Clay’s audiences at this venue have shrunk substantially since he started touring.

"Today the venue consists of 3,097 reserved seats underneath the pavilion roof, 540 reserved lawn seats, and 2,850 general admission lawn seats."

This would mean a maximum capacity of 6,487.

Clay will have played this venue 3 times (including this year). His attendance figures are:

Clay sold well for the Solo Tour (capacity includes lawn):

Location......Date......Gross.....Att…....Cap....% Att…...AvgTix

Gilford NH..05-Aug-04..$166,892..4,795..5,000..95.9%..$34.81

Sales were down quite a bit for the Jukebox Tour (capacity includes lawn):


Gilford NH..27-Aug-05..$159,651..2,775..5,835..47.6%..$57.53

Clay’s show this year did not sold well. Lawn tickets were not sold for this event. Meadowbrook probably realized from the JBT that Clay’s appeal has waned, so decided to only sell reserved seating (3,801) for this show.

The latest attendance prediction was on 6/30:

Gilford NH WED 7/25 8PM, On sale 4/02, 3,689
06/30 10AM 3w 4d
-Counting 3,801 total seats.
-Tickets selling slowly.
-Counting 1,720 seats available.
-Projected ticket sales 2,000-2,300, 53%-61% of capacity*.”

As of 7/14, ticket sales for the show were quite a bit lower than the JBT:

“07/14 7PM
Rows 1-20 (1,455, $59) - 99 (newly released)
Rows 21-43 (1,666, $59) - 1,252 Seats Available
Rows 44-45 (140, $74) - 105 Seats Available
Rows 46-51 (540, $35) - 308 Seats Available”

A total of 1,764 available seats out of 3,801, or 2,037 (54%) sold. The Claymate who reported that the show was slightly more than half sold, which would fit with this.

Just how big would the crowds be if Claymates only went to 1 show? At one point, the number of Claymates who went to multiple concerts was only a relatively small number, but more and more Claymates are going to more and more concerts, especially since the schedule of this tour has been intentionally designed to encourage multiple concertgoing.

Now, the repeat Claymates probably makes up a pretty large proportion of the audience at every show, and Clay needs to rely on this behavior for even poorly attended shows.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


Definitions for the world of Clay Aiken!

Afghanistan: a nice place for a photo-op.

Calliek: apparently some kind of geologist or volcano-expert who confuses the name Clay with the geological term clay and mistakenly drops by Clay Aiken message boards to warn that the lava is's rising...can you feel...the lava...rising....

Clack: Youtube pollution.

Claynation: a country run by a dictator and populated by brainwashed citizens who support him financially and emotionally, often at the expense of their own families. Occasionally a member of this nation will break free and seek refuge at, but many others will go to their grave in the grips of their dictator.

Cliggle: a Faiken sound effect. Also the subject of the forthcoming book REAL MEN DON'T CLIGGLE.

Clonchos: the latest in raingear for mats.

Cloptical Illusion: a strange eye-brain malady that causes a mat to look at a nearly empty audience containing only elderly women and see a sell-out crowd evenly divided between women and men.

Faye: short for famewhore.

Flat Clay: the best way to describe Faikens current singing voice.

Footgate: the day that oh those little piggies went whee-whee-whee-whee right to the FBI office.

Hawt: something Clay is nawt.

Jerome: someone mats chase after, give gifts to, audition for, get autographs from, and snap pictures of. They adore him. But if they get too close to Faiken, he'll tear their guts out.

Learning to Sing: ghost-written book.

Lover All Alone: ghost-written song.

Manly: an adjective that mats frequently and inexplicably use to describe Faiken.

M&G: a place where mats are not allowed to kiss Clay, not allowed to hug him too tightly, only allowed to take one picture, and only allowed to have one item signed. Disappointing? Not really, because at least it gives them the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to ask why he shaves his arms and legs.

Meotion: a term that refers to a superstrong feeling; an emotion to the nth degree. Example: The beauty of the sunrise filled me with emotion. But when Supersexysingerman grabs his crotch, I'm filled with MEOTION, baby!

Okclayhoman: the moose that bellowed; the exception to the theory that even a stopped clock is right twice a day; wants to be cornholed by Clay.

Olemass: one of the rare mats who has a penis; may not admit it, but also wants to be cornholed by Clay.

Pants of perfection: Something Faiken wore many Krispy Kremes ago.

Ruben: the winner of American Idol 2!

Runner-up: the person who placed second to Ruben.

Sixty-nine: 1) Something Faiken does with his Manhunt hook-ups. 2) The average age of a Claymat.

Snark: humor with a queeny, bitchy quality, usually practiced by gay men.

Spam: both a noun and a verb, as used in this sentence, My children are eating Spam sandwiches tonight because I'm too busy spamming this Favorite Rock Star poll to fix them dinner.

Sperm donor: what Faiken calls his father; what JP will be if he ever donates that used washcloth to a BAF fundraiser.

STFU hand move: a signal that Faiken uses to quiet others and draw attention to himself. With the mats, it's a hand movement etched in the air; with Kelly Ripa, it's a cold, clammy hand placed directly over her mouth.

Tabloid: any newspaper or magazine, from the National Enquirer to the New York Times or Christian Science Monitor, that dares to mention Faiken in less than glowing terms.

Thud: a word that describes Faiken's future, as in His musical career started off with great promise, but ended with a thud.

Touch: Something Faiken is never going to sing in concert or do to a Claymat.

Waldo: any crease or seam on the front of Faiken's pants.

Webcam: a word that, strangely, cannot be found in any mats vocabulary.

XXX: 1) The rating for Faiken's When Doves Cry dance in his family friendly shows. 2) The average size of mats stretch pants.

ZZZ: the effect Clay's music has on most normal listeners.

Thanks to Calliyuck for a VERY funny blog!
Feel free to chime in with your own Clay-land definitions!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Clay Aiken: “All I Had to Do was Whore Myself Out”

A Claymate who had a Meet & Greet with Clay Aiken has reported the following regarding the Bubel/Aiken Foundation fundraising galas:

“Asked him [Clay] if BAF galas would be in Raleigh, he said No, they will look at other cities. Talked to him about the 100 camps goal. Yes, but look how much money we raised at Raleigh Gala when all I [Clay] had to do is whore myself out.”

Back in May, 2007, Clay Aiken appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” and surprisingly, he dismissed pictures of his visit to Afghanistan for UNICEF as mere “photo ops”, while mocking the singing of children in another country that he visited.

It appears that Clay regards any efforts that he makes for charity as opportunities to do as little as possible for as much promotion, attention and laughs as possible. Here’s a well-deserved critique of Clay’s comments by Calliyuck (since this post, Clay’s comments have been confirmed):

“Do we know for sure that Faiken actually said this: "Yes, but look how much money we raised at the Raleigh Gala when all I had to do is whore myself out."

If Is that how he really feels? Even if it is, he must be nuts to say that outloud. More appropriate responses would have been:

"Yes, but look how much money we raised at the Raleigh Gala when all I had to do is make personal contributions of my time. I was SO honored that people would actually pay that kind of money to have lunch with me or have a personal meeting at one of my shows."

"Yes, but look how much money we raised at the Raleigh Gala when all I had to do is make personal contributions. If bidding on dinner with me or on one of my rings can bring in many thousands of dollars for charity, you can bet I'll be donating even MORE of my time and personal effects in the future!"

"Yes, but look how much money we raised at the Raleigh Gala when all I had to do is make that small extra effort of going to dinner with a fan or giving them a special m&g at one of my shows. Two hours of my time is going to earn thousands for the BAF. If we all gave two hours of our time to charitable endeavors, wouldn't the world be a better place?"

There were so many different ways Faiken could have phrased his comments -- making it a win-win deal for both himself and those who won his auctions. Instead, he chose to refer to his own contributions (which will probably take no more than a couple hours out of his life) as "whoring myself out." And if he's a whore, then he must think of those who "bought" him as nothing but desperate "johns" with big bucks and, believe me, he thinks of them with only contempt. (Ever heard of a prostitute who liked or respected her tricks?)

Imagine if he said the same thing about his UNICEF trips. "What do I do as a UNICEF ambassador? I just grow a beard, put on native clothes and wander around Afghanistan doing photo-ops, whoring myself out for a few days to bring attention to this part of the world."

If he said that, he'd be fired by UNICEF.

Maybe I shouldn't have written this long diatribe without knowing for sure if he made the "whore" remark at last night's m&g.

If he did, shame on him!”

Surprisingly, even a devout, immensely obsessed Claymate has openly criticized Clay for his remarks:

“Sunday, July 22, 2007
Clay Aiken: charity....whore?

Clay Aiken is Touring and one of the changes he has made is to hold the traditional Meet and Greets differently. Instead of lining up in a row the ten or twelve lucky fans who won a M&G, then have them approach him one at a time, he now chooses six and spends about 20 - 30 minutes with them in an intimate atmosphere before each show. From all the reports, this is working out extremely well. The fans are relaxed, Clay is relaxed, the conversation, although controlled by Clay, is a back-and-forth between the 'star' and his fans. The fans can ask questions and hopefully Clay answers them as honestly as he can, or wants to. This set-up has garnered some very interesting questions, the kind that most interviewers don't ask and we can get some insight to Clay that perhaps we wouldn't have had the chance to otherwise.

As interesting as the questions are that are being asked, Clay's answers are also interesting. He seems to be much more open than ever before, much more candid, but every once in a while I think, wtf? is he talking about. Case in point: the other night, a fan asked Clay about holding the BAF Gala in cities other than Raleigh.

In March, 2007, Clay held a Gala in Raleigh, NC, to raise money for The Bubel/Aiken Foundation. The tickets sold were very expensive, with the lowest going for around $200.00 a person, the highest was something like $10,000 a table for corporate sponsors. Although Clay had a Master of Ceremony and an auctioneer to auction off various items to the donors, he couldn't help but get involved himself, hocking the items along with the auctioneer, getting the crowd riled up, making jokes and generally, seemingly, having a good time. That Gala raised over $300,000 that night. Not a total to sneeze at.

When asked about holding the Galas in cities other than Raleigh, Clay said that yes, they were looking at other cities, but Raleigh had raised so much money, 'when all I had to do was whore myself out'. wtf?

I wonder how serious he was. That's a pretty harsh thing to say, especially to fans who more than likely support the BAF. I mean, it's true, a celebrity who attaches his/her name to a charity is a commodity up for the highest bid: that's the trade-off that's made if they want to raise money and Clay's not the first, nor will he be the last celebrity to do this. But it's a two-way street. If Clay is a whore (and he's a pretty popular whore), then we're the Johns. Not a very nice description of either party.

Just how cynical has Clay gotten in the past four years?

I have heard that Clay can be sarcastic. And I have to say that I'm not a relative nor a friend and I don't know him. I didn't hear his tone of voice when he said that, I didn't see his expression or his body language, he could have been kidding. Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. It was just my wtf? moment of the week. I truly hope that Clay doesn't feel that way about his participation in raising money for the BAF, which is a much-needed charity whose goals, that are so attainable, can really make a difference in the lives of individuals with disabilities.”

So, Clay Aiken seems to characterize his activities for charities as “whoring” himself out? It seems that even some of his most devoted Claymates are hurt and offended by his remarks, as they should be. Is the BAF happy with this statement? Since Clay describes his activities with UNICEF as only “photo ops”, does he consider that he is “whoring” himself out with them as well? What does UNICEF thinks about this kind of statement coming from one of its Ambassadors? Isn't someone like Clay Aiken an embarassment to such a high-profile, established charity and a turn off to potential donors?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Clay Aiken In The Current Issue of Globe : Clay Aiken Saves Jericho!

There is a small article in the current issue of Globe Magazine about Clay Aiken.
Below you will find the article exactly as it was published:


American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken is taking credit for saving Jericho, which was brought back after CBS was bombarded with packages of nuts.

"I love the show," he says.

"I started blogging about it on my fan site. It got canceled, and I blogged about how upset I was. I said 'The Claymates (his fans) can do anything. How do we get this show back?'"

"Honestly, within a week, htey had organized a campaign amongst 'Jericho' fans to send nuts to CBS. It kind of started in that place. And it's back on the air. It just blows my mind."

The show, starrring Skeet Ulrich, is scheduled to air as a mid-season replacement this fall.

Good to see that Clay Aiken's delusions of grandeur are noticed and properly reported.

Will this piss off the people who really WERE behind the campaign to save Jericho all over again?

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Clay Aiken Performs Again Tonight! Three In A Row!!

Clay Aiken will be performing his third concert in as many nights tonight in Canandaigua, N.Y.
Tonight's concert comes on the heels of this Syrause show last night which received a tepid review that you can read below:

Decent set with SSO thrills 'Claymates'
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Chuck Klaus Contributing writer
The appearance of "American Idol" 2003 second-place winner Clay Aiken before 1,600 screaming "Claymates" - well, about 600 or so were screaming - has given your obedient servant new insight into the reviews of earlier days.
I can now imagine myself trying to review the hysteria of the bobby socks and saddle shoes set when young Frank Sinatra first came on the scene, or writing a critique of the hordes when Elvis first appeared, or the shrieks that arose when The Beatles were just getting started.
And much like those fabled critics of yore, I simply don't get it. All of this large-scale Clayemotion confounds me, I fear.
Not to unduly knock Mr. Aiken. His has an interesting voice, fairly well-used within his chosen field of pop ballad singing. There's an interesting combination of elements making up his style: a touch of blue-eyed soul, a bit of modern country, some strains of soft rock and, perhaps the most dominant influence of all, contemporary Broadway. His voice is on-pitch, he treats most of his material in a fairly spacious manner, and his work is pleasant and fairly polished, in an extremely informal way.
This ease on stage, as well as a constant barrage of self-deprecating humor, may be one of the secrets of his success. Aiken, forever putting himself down, can hardly be seen as a threat to his female audience, and they evidently love him for that. He is the beloved singing teddy bear placed near a young girl's flouncy canopied bed.
Aiken, appearing with fellow American Idolers Quiana Parler and Angela Fisher, sang a wide range of music, from covers of Dolly Parton's "Here You Come Again" to his early hit "Measure of a Man" and material from his most recent release, "A Thousand Different Ways." He generously gave his "backup singers" - really more like co-singers - solo spots and lots of room for comic byplay, and gave a really nice pep talk on behalf of the Syracuse Symphony Orchestra, encouraging the enthusiastic audience to become season subscribers of the SSO.
Aiken also was generous in his praise of conductor-pianist - and evidently gifted arranger - Jesse Vargas, who coordinated well and with a minimum of fuss while providing solid piano support.
Aiken had the chance to perform a ballad for which he served as lyricist, which offered the SSO's cellist, Lindsay Groves, the chance to contribute a sonorous solo. Here was one instance where the Clayemotion of the audience paused long enough to allow Aiken to truly be heard, which turned out to be a source of further Clayelation.
Tonight's show should be interesting. Clay Aiken's voice is already showing signs of strain and he is unable to reach the notes that he used to hit with ease. As the writer of the interview above notes, Clay seems to be relying on Quiana and Angela as co-singers. Is this a good thing considering this tour has been widely described as "An Evening With Clay Aiken'?
Also, as the tour proceeds, Clay's "banter" is becoming increasingly angry, bitter and self pitying. Is his "humor" really "self deprecating" as the writer of the review above states?
It seems to me that most of Clay's attempts at humor and snark are often at the expense of others, including the people in the audience who are there to support him.
Also worth noting, is the sudden crackdown on "clack". There are many theories about how this came to be, so it will be interesting to see if tonights show brings any changes to the current policy.
Can't wait to see what "goodies" Clay Aiken has in store tonight!
Gotta love a good trainwreck! :)

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The Cult of the Clay Aiken Internet Message Boards

There is no other fanbase on earth (or in the universe? ;) ) like the Claymates, a primarily middle-aged and older group of women, most of whom infest the Internet. They are rabid, obsessed beyond reason and many listen to no other singer than Clay Aiken.

They are a fanbase who are intent on forcing the world to see Clay Aiken in the deluded way that they do and will go to extreme efforts to achieve this goal, tirelessly policing every corner of the Internet to defend Clay from all naysayers.

Some even resort to harassment and intimidation of people in real life in an effort to suppress anything negative about Clay, especially insinuations about his sexuality.

No one is immune from their wrath: DJ’s, Program Directors, Internet bloggers, Gossip sites, and legitimate media, not to mention fans, ex-fans, non-fans and anyone who has the audacity to utter even a perceived slight or insult. Ridiculously paranoid conspiracy theories abound about people out to "get" Clay that are actually taken seriously by the Claymates.

So, as you can imagine, being a Claymate is an extraordinarily stressful, troublesome and angst-ridden existence, all centered around the literal worship of someone based on a false image.

Without doubt, the Claymates are a cult and their behavior on the message boards reflects this. Here is a humorous (yet frighteningly true) take on the rules for posting on one of the most cultish of the Claymate message boards, the “Clayboard” by one of the more illustrious members of the Fraud Squad, Calliyuck.

“How to post a message on the Clayboard:

1) Begin by genuflecting in front of the mods. Choose one of the following to start your message:
a) Mods, if you don’t think this posting is accurate, responsible, or true to the Claynation, please delete.
b) I have a comment about OMC and hope our hard-working mods will approve of what I have to say.
c) Mods, please delete the following if you think it will hurt the feelings of any of our wonderful fellow Claymates.

2) Show your love for Faiken with a bit of extraneous praise:
a) I feel so blessed to be a member of the Claynation.
b) Clay, if you’re reading this, I LOVE YOU!
c) As a proud Claymate since January 19, 2003....

3) Get to the main point of your message:
a) Does anyone have any Clack that includes a good view of Clay’s right elbow?
b) How would you best describe Clay’s current hair color -- chestnut pony’s mane, autumn-leaf brown, or moon-kissed auburn?
c) I was just thinking that it would be so cool if Krispy Kreme created a Clay Aiken donut. Let’s start an e-mail campaign to make this happen for our superstah!

4) Add more extraneous praise that includes over-the-top claims and uses the letters “cl” to prove your love for Faiken:
a) My hubby had a quadruple bypass today and I told the nurses in the clintensive clare unit to call me if his condition worsened, but I’ve been listening to the cellcert all evening so if they called me, they got a busy signal. Oh well!!!!
b) Listening to Clay sing Lover All Alone on tonight’s cellcert made me feel all orgasmy inside. I haven’t had so many hot flashes since twenty years ago when I went through clenopause.
c) Clay, I’d divorce my dh and put my kids in foster homes just for one cliss from you!

5) Sign off with zany emoticon:
a) Dancing banana.
b) Thud.
c) A smiley-face because it’s so hip, so cool, so happening, so seventies,!

6) Repeat zany emoticons over and over to shown your enthusiasm and because you have nothing else to say:
a) Dancing banana, dancing banana, dancing banana, dancing etc.
b) Thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud ad infinitum.
c) Smile smile smile smile smile smile smile smile smile smile”

Hard to believe that “mature” women, most of whom are 40+ years old could behave like this? Think that this is a joke? An exaggeration? Decide for yourself by visiting the Clayboard:

One thing more. Don't for a moment believe that this is just a harmless obsession. For so many, Clay Aiken has become their life, to the exclusion and detriment of family, friends and anything that will interfere with their devotion to a fantasy.

True, other celebrities have their share of nutsos, but without doubt, Clay's fanbase has the highest proportion of rabid, abnormally-obsessed fans of any other celebrity, including Michael Jackson. And, that's a lot.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Clay Aiken: Unrealized Potential or Overestimation?

When Clay Aiken’s post Idol promotion kicked off TPTB wanted everyone to believe they had discovered the next superstar. Idol was water cooler topic number one and the show’s ratings were unprecedented. The spin and promo machines were out in full force because it was believed that Clay had a solid market comprised of Idol viewers. “Strike while the iron is hot” is basic marketing and at the time Idol was “hot”.

Clay was able for a time to ride on the success of the show and the dedication of fans to keep the buzz alive. As time went by more and more people lost interest in Clay, the hype died down, and he was left to his own devices.

His own devices; however, were not enough to attract the kind of fans that get the attention of marketers. He became known as a niche performer, and later simply an entertainer with a core of rabid fans. Even later as an also ran and punch line.
The simple truth is that if he really were that good the success and accolades would have followed. Instead, he cannot get played on the radio, his concerts are not selling well, and his CD’s are not selling well.

The Clay you see today is same Clay from Idol; people just didn’t realize it at the time. They bought the hype and, as someone else suggested, they romanticized him. He didn’t just become this weird goofy guy; it is who he has always been. Clay and the Claymates that remain are a matched set. His performance skills match their expectations of a performer. More typically discerning people won’t buy what he has to offer.

It is not by accident that Clay has ended up with the type of fans that he has, like attracts like. No fan base has the power to ruin a performer, that’s just as much of an excuse as saying the webcams are photoshops. If the Claymates were a detriment to Clay they would market him to someone else. There is no one else, at least not in large enough numbers to get attention.

Clay may have had a better voice at one time but he never had the ability to connect to a discriminating audience or to a large segment of the population. His performance skills are mediocre, his artistry is non-existent, and his banter is undisciplined. The scandals are in a category by themselves. He would have needed much more than a voice to reach the stars. The Xmas special, the second Xmas tour, the CD, this tour – these things are products of his skill level. Enough said.

Clay is a very lazy person by nature. He puts very little effort into anything that he does, whether it is his shows, his music, the BAF, or UNICEF. For the most part he is MIA until he needs to show up, do his thing, and leave. He relies heavily on others.

It’s time for people hanging onto what “could have been” to realize that it never was. It’s the final step in deprogramming.

You're P.I.T.I.F.U.L.

My head is still spinning from ALL the latest developments on the Faiken and his CULTmates. Their denials, blindness, lack of self respect, etc. is mind boggling, but at the same time I can do nothing, but speculate that their lives must be extremely void of something thus making them react to this mediocre glorified, vindictive, jealous, rudely obnoxious karaoke singer the way they do.

In reading the thread about the "disruptive fans", I thought maybe the kool-aid mixers got a bad batch that affected its potency thus making some come to their senses, but then I soon realized that it's just another futile excuse to "save" their leader's reputation by blaming the fans for his crappy performance which in their eyes, makes it more "acceptable" to them. It's ALWAYS about excusing him from WHATEVER it is he did or messed up at any particular time. I'm really exhausted just from reading their crap, so I can only imagine how "fraud-strating" and exhausting it must be to be a Claymate. Spin, lie, scheme, deflect, project, rinse, repeat..
. It all brings me to one resounding conclusion...Faiken and MATS,

Friday, July 13, 2007

Perez Hilton Discusses Clay Aiken On The View

Here is a clip of Perez Hilton's appearance on "The View" today.

He discusses Claymates and Clay Aiken misleading people by refusing to come out and say that he is gay.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

"Clay Aiken Was Awful"

Some comments about and reviews of Clay Aiken's summer tour are starting to emerge, and they aren't pretty.
Some examples:
" Perusing local message boards revealed common themes: Clay Aiken was awful, the fireworks were great, and half will never come back due to traffic problems. It is a shame the city puts on such fabulous events that conclude with so many in misery."
"What was the biggest impression, unfortunately, was the crowds of people BEHIND that comparatively small group huddled at the front of the stage.
The soccer field was ---throughout the entire concert---filled with children playing and laughing and yelling, adults drinking and talking and laughing---all kinds of people just having a good ole' time on a pleasant July 4th evening, waiting for the fireworks.
Honestly, I have to say that the majority of the people I could see weren't paying much attention at all to whatever was happening on stage.
Also unfortunately, I heard more than just a few derisive comments about Clay and the show from people in the stands who were obviously there for the game and the fireworks who viewed the show as an annoyance at least and something that should be shot and put out of its misery at the other extreme.
These were just your average---non-Clay fans---who commented on the odd fact of a symphony setting up on stage for a soccer stadium concert or had ignorant commentary on personal aspects of Clay that we fans are certainly familiar with. It was NOT my favorite concert experience.
I've read some of the effusively positive reports from others who were there on the field and talked to some in person after the show and it seems that they really were unaware of what was happening behind them. To me and perhaps others who had a different perspective of the whole scene, it was....disturbing.
From my seat it almost seemed as though the majority of the people there were either just plain indifferent to Clay and the show or had some unflattering commentary about it. Also unfortunately, the sound system sucked and the musicians were not all that.
I agree that the show didn't 'flow' and in fact at times had the amateurish quality of a Hometown Connection production. I'm sure that timing and flow, etc., will improve. Clay's concerts always morph from one to the other.
I missed being able to wallow in the man and the voice. All the other stuff was SO prominent and distracting that it was difficult to enjoy and appreciate the VOX. And THAT, my friends, should"
From a Clay Board

There is a line in one of the better songs from Clay Aiken’s newest, and least memorable, album that carries more of a message than he likely intended. It’s from Everything I Have,
and it goes like this: “I can only do my best/I have to trust you with the rest.” Aiken often sings love songs to his audience, as he did in his first tour when he dedicated The Way to them, and in the current tour when he sings Because You Loved Me to them. He might do well, however, when he sings Everything I Have to pay more attention to this particular line. You see, Aiken’s fans are very, very dedicated, and he can trust them - to go to his concerts, to buy his music, to watch any appearance he happens to make on television, to buy his book, to contribute to his charity….
Yes, these are good fans. But if the last album and the current tour are any indication, Mr. Aiken may not be keeping up his end of the bargain. Neither the album nor the tour so far are anywhere near the best he can do. On "A Thousand Different Ways," released last fall, he’s vocally adept – stunning, in places, but his awesome voice is wasted on material that it’s far too soon to recycle, at least by a singer as new to the industry as Aiken. The album is not bad, exactly. It’s just forgettable. But a mediocre album – or at least the damage it did to his reputation - might have been redeemed with a stellar concert tour. If he were to mix in the requisite songs from the album with some real showstoppers, and he is certainly capable of something more challenging than Achy Breaky Heart and a medley of theme songs from old television shows, he could satisfy his current fans and possibly win over some new ones. But if the performance in Tulsa is anything to go by, Aiken has decided to expend minimal effort, collect his ticket money, and move on. Oh, he’s having a good time on the stage. He jokes, he banters with the audience, he giggles. And he sings a little. Sometimes well. Other times, not.
That’s probably going to continue through Orlando, too, because his fans, the Claymates, are enablers. Many are uncritical – everything he does is okay with them, and anyone who dares to suggest that he is anything less than the God of pop music with the virtues of a saint is in danger of being shellacked and duct taped to a railroad track. There are other fans, however, those not wanting the shellac and duct tape treatment, who are quietly not so pleased. They find the banter overdone and disorderly, and worse, done at the expense of his singing voice, which cracks and tires after so much conversation. Much of it is witty, true, and most of the Claymates who follow him around the country, love it, but it won’t win him the new fans he needs to sustain a career, and it may lose him some of those he has had for the last four years.
Some in the audience have suggested that this is a “throw-away” tour for Aiken, who is contractually obliged to promote an album that he doesn’t believe in himself. Trouble is, not all those ticket buyers know that. Aiken’s mother must have told him at some time that anything worth doing is worth doing well. He should have listened. If not to her, then to his own line … “I can only give you everything I have.”
Four years ago, Clay Aiken was on a trajectory to the stars. I know that’s true because Diane Sawyer said so. I wonder what she’d say now. Perhaps Aiken has other ambitions and is getting his stand-up schtick together in the hopes of taking over for Leno or Letterman one day. Whatever, it is clear that he loves the stage, and if the current tour shows nothing else, it does show that he is a performer. At this stage of his career, however, he would do well to remember that America fell in love not just with a performer, but with a singer. It might be a really good idea to get his singing career firmly established before branching out. It’s time to focus.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Clay Aiken Working the Microphone

Gotta love the delight Clay Aiken takes in working his microphone.

Such camaraderie!! Makes you wonder if he practices in his spare time ! ;)

Thanks for the youtube to a most talented artiste! BRAVO!!

Craig Ferguson's Take On The Clay Aiken Plane Incident

Let's get some giggles while we are awaiting the next debacle by Clay Aiken!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Clay Aiken STINKS!!

And it's not about his feet....this time.

Check out this performance Clay Aiken gave at the Frisco show.

Pay special attention to the faces he makes and how he flounces about.

Still can't get over that people PAID for THIS???

Hard to decide whether this "performance" is UNINTENTIONALLY hilarious or pathetic.

Clay should be ashamed. For so many reasons.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Clay Aiken Speaks Out About the Airplane Incident (not really)

Clay Aiken blogged today to address the altercation that took place between Aiken and a woman during an airplane flight to Tulsa.

This is what Clay Aiken had to say about the incident.

07/09/07 : Slow news day...

Well, I think the title of this blog is QUITE an understatement!

Nevermind the children of Afghanistan, who got ZERO help from the media after UNICEF appealed for interest in that story.

Thank God for Entertainment Tonight! They were the only major outlet at all to care about the needs of those kids!If I were the desperate and threatened children of northern Uganda, who also have gotten almost no attention from the press (again, with the same exception of ET), I would be upset and dismayed that a stupid celebrity non-story is the top story on most news sites today. Meanwhile, at this very moment in northern Uganda, over forty thousand children are sleeping in city streets to protect themselves from being raped and tortured, yet no one mentions them.

Then again, as much as the media seems to screw up the actual facts in a situation, maybe they're better off anyway.


Current Mood: Confused

Ok, so let's get this straight. Clay Aiken, who is renowned for his rudeness and inconsideration of others, once again gets himself into a situation that he would rather not have reported.

Does Clay Aiken make any attempt to clarify the situation? NO.
Instead, he scolds, well, THE WHOLE WORLD (except Entertainment Tonight)about the reporting of, and interest in the story.

Clay HIMSELF discussed this story DURING his concert in Tulsa and now complains that others discuss it also? Isn't that just a little bit HYPOCRITICAL??

Is it that Clay Aiken ONLY wanted HIS SIDE of the story made public? He used it for fodder during his show!

According to Clay, we should all be thinking about more important things, like the suffering children of the world.

Hmmm. Why doesn't Clay sing a song dedicated to the suffering children of the world in his current tour? One song?

It might be easier to take Clay's blog a LITTLE bit more seriously if he had been mentioning the Afghani and Ugandan children during his show.
If HE were thinking about the "children" why couldn't he perform what many Claymates would argue is "his song", "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and dedicate it to the children?

Which would make for a better show? Which would his audience enjoy more? Actually singing BOTW or "the classics" bit where he makes fun of other artists and the tv show theme medley?

It's never about the audience. It's always about what Clay wants to do.

It is also worth mentioning that on Clay's most recent Jimmy Kimmel appearance, when Kimmel showed pictures of Clay's trip to Afghanistan, Aiken claimed the pictures were all "photo-ops". Kimmel gave him the perfect opportunity to say a serious word or two about what the children of Afghanistan were going through, but Clay laughed it off.

Why were Clay's most recent blogs about saving a television show that he enjoys and his jubilation over his new iphone?

What about the CHILDREN, Clay?? What about the CHILDREN??

Clay Aiken should shut the fuck up if he is only going to scold.

He should take some responsibility and clarify the situation if he is upset with it.

Clay has NEVER attempted to respond to a controversy. He'd much rather play the "victim" card.

Maybe he isn't saying anything about this story because telling the truth about this incident wouldn't fall in line with the version Clay allegedly told at the M&G. He wouldn't want to come out with a statement that lied about the incident and the other person involved because that could leave him open to legal repercussions.

Okclayhoman, who attended the meet and greet is saying that she heard the version she is reporting directly from Clay. I find that version of events unbelievable and it's entirely possible that Clay lied at the M&G and if he made a statement telling the truth, well, he's exposed as a liar.

Clay, try making the TRUTH your FRIEND. It makes life MUCH less stressful.

If Clay Aiken doesn't like having his inappropriate actions reported, he should learn to BEHAVE APPROPRIATELY.

There's a saying I've heard that I think applies to Clay Aiken.

"If you don't want to end up on the news, don't rob the bank".

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Clay Aiken, Doesn't A Paying Audience Deserve Better?

People who attended Clay Aiken's Houston show should be asking for their money back.

They were paying to see a "multi platinum artist" and "professional entertainer".

Because Clay Aiken could not be bothered to learn the words to the songs he would be performing, he had lyrics taped to the floor.

Even with the lyrics there for him, in the clip above, you will see that Clay Aiken just gave up. His laziness is almost unfathomable.

People paid for THIS???

It appears that Clay Aiken does not respect his audience OR the orchestra enough to come up with a professional show.

It is no wonder that Clay Aiken is not taken seriously in the music world, or any other world for that matter, except in ClayLand.

His unprofessionalism is astounding.

Even Claymates should be disgusted by this.

If the Claymates caught wind of any other artist behaving this way in concert, they would be eviscerating them.

It is obvious that Clay just does not give a shit about delivering a decent performance for a paying audience.

Clay Aiken Plane Disturbance

From Perez Hilton:
uly 8, 2007 at 10:20 am
Sunday, July 8th, 2007
Things are not always what they seem.

We just got this email in our Inbox about The Gayken’s airplane altercation on Saturday.

I work for the airline he was on. Attached is a picture that the captain took. I wish to remain anonymous but I had to send you the real story. We got a call from the Captain who said the Clay was being “bothered” by a fan. This was while the flight was still in the air. When the flight landed, the FBI was called because the flight attendant had said that Mr. Aiken was belligerent. All passengers were questioned. We heard nothing of a passenger who assaulted Mr., Aiken. In fact, it was Mr. Aiken and his ego that had the crew concerned and the Captain wanted the police at the gate on arrival into Tulsa. The woman in the picture is the supposed fan who bothered Mr. Aiken. Doesn’t look like she could hurt a fly.

Sorry for the poor picture quality. It was taken with a cell phone. I will send you another picture in a second e-mail of Mr. Aiken filling out paperwork in the jetway. No one else was asked to fill out any paperwork.

We’re definitely inclined to belive this version of the events.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Clay Aiken Causes Disturbance On Flight. Questioned By FBI

Aiken apparently questioned after airplane incident

By World Staff 7/7/2007 5:52 PMLast Modified: 7/7/2007 6:57 PM

Former "American Idol" singer Clay Aiken was apparently involved in a disturbance with another passenger Saturday while on an airplane headed to Tulsa International Airport.

The dispute occurred on a Continental Airlines flight between a woman and a man, whom FBI Special Agent Gary Johnson confirmed was a former "American Idol" contestant.

Aiken, who was a runner-up on the TV talent show in 2003, was headed to Tulsa Saturday for a performance at the Brady Theater. His management could not be reached for comment Saturday afternoon.

Johnson said he was told the dispute was over the male passenger's foot resting on another passenger's armrest.

He said the disturbance was a minor one.

There was an allegation that the woman gave the male passenger a "minor shove" during the argument, Johnson said.

"At that point the flight crew was able to resolve the situation," he said.

The disturbance occurred Saturday morning, said Tulsa Airport Authority spokeswoman Alexis Higgins.

Higgins said the passengers were held until FBI agents arrived to question them.

No injuries were reported and no arrests were made.

The disturbance did not interfere with the flight of the aircraft, Johnson said.

Clay Aiken Mocks The Music Of Justin Timberlake, Prince, Madonna and Others.

Clay Aiken, self proclaimed savior of the CBS television show "Jericho" opened his new tour on July 4th in Frisco, Texas at Pizza Hut Park between a soccer game and holiday fireworks.

Given the heights of stardom that Clay Aiken has risen to and the quality of music that he has consistently delivered, it should come as no suprise that someone as supreme as Clay Aiken should single out others in the music industry who can only aspire to one day be taken as seriously, and become as successful as Clay Aiken is.

Chosen for derision by Clay Aiken were lesser known performers such as Justin Timberlake, Madonna, Britney Spears, Prince and Michael Jackson.

After complaining about what music is played on top 40 radio, Clay Aiken proceeded to launch into a medley to shine a light on how these other artists can't compare to Clay's awesome talent.

Clay Aiken was runner up in season two of American Idol, losing to Ruben Studdard and has had a minor hit single, "Invisible".

He's also a fucking idiot.

Except for the above two sentences, this blog was written entirely with tongue planted firmly in cheek.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Is Clay Aiken Falsely Claiming Credit in Rescuing “Jericho” from Cancellation?

In an interview with the Houston Chronicle, Clay Aiken was quoted as follows:

“The show Jericho . . . I loved it. I started blogging about it on my fan site. It got canceled, and I blogged about how upset I was. I said, "The Claymates can do anything. How do we get this show back on the air?" Honestly, within a week they had organized a campaign amongst Jericho fans to send nuts to CBS. It kind of started in that place. And it's back on the air! It just blows my mind.”

Clay is clearly claiming that he was responsible for getting “Jericho” back on the air by motivating and influencing his Claymates. In addition, he credits the Claymates for organizing a campaign to save the show.

In response to this interview, however, the following posts were made on the interview site disputing Clay’s claim:

“sweat1951 wrote: As a Jericho fan who has been involved since the beginning I must object. First, support for saving Jericho did not come from his blog. Secondly,the Claymates had nothing to do with organizing this campaign. The campaign was well under way when someone posted on our message board that the Claymates wanted to get involved. It is unfair for this credit to be taken from the people who actually deserve it. Thank you. 7/5/2007 7:18:16 AM"

"JennyP22 wrote: As a Jericho Ranger who has been involved in the campaing since it started, I feel it necessary to make a correction. While it might be true that Clay did blog about Jericho, the campaign DID NOT stem from his blog. This campaign stemmed from thousands of Jericho fans who wanted CBS to realize that the Neilson ratings were not accurate in how many people watched the show. This campain started on the CBS board, and was greatly assisted by NUTSONLINE.COM. 7/5/2007 7:58:27 AM”

This post was made on this blog, strongly disputing Clay’s claim of being responsible for the “Save Jericho” campaign:

“How dare Clay Aiken take credit on behalf of his blog and his fan group for the Nuts Campaign to Save Jericho? What a bald-faced liar he is. I was VERY much involved in the Save Jericho Campaign and it was absolutely NOT - not not NOT! - created, organized or arranged by the "Claymates". They were certainly not responsible for the original decision to send NUTS to CBS. (Grrrrrrrrrr....) Some Claymates joined the team and participated, yes, as a result of Clay's blog about it, and of course they were certainly welcome to join us. However, they were a small percentage of a very large team of people working together to achieve a common goal, and that team was not called "Clay and the Claymates Save Jericho". It makes me angry to read what Clay has claimed in that interview, and I'm hoping that the *real* Team Jericho coordinators will provide a response to clarify the truth. Haven't the Claymates frequently claimed that Clay is treated unfairly by the rest of the world? Well, how about treating fellow Jericho fans fairly? How about giving credit where credit is due? Why couldn't Clay have said that his blog spurred several of his fans to become part of a much larger group to help save the show? That would be a true statement that would still acknowledge his fans for trying to help save a show he loves. And a quick thanks to Team Jericho would have been nice, since Clay is such a big Jericho fan. Even most of the regular cast members - Skeet, Brad, Lennie, Kenneth, Michael, Alicia, Shoshanna, Erik, and some of the writers, have posted at the CBS message board several times to thank us for our efforts. Whatever, I'm sure Clay will backtrack and say he was "misquoted". A REAL Jericho Ranger | 07.05.07 - 12:13 pm | # “

It appears that Clay has been caught in yet another of a long line of lies, all designed to convey the false perception of influence and popularity where little exists. Will he be publically challenged about his claim? Stay tuned, sports fans! ;)

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

How Do Americans Celebrate Independence Day?

In this such a festive day, take time to pray for our brave troops fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, for their safe return home.

Upon reading the following post by our own Calliyuck, it merited being the focus of this new blog today.

Standard greeting for most of us: "Happy Fourth of July!"
Standard greeting for mats: "Happy Concert Day!"

Standard outfit for most of us: Shorts, T-shirt, tennis shoes.
Standard outfor for mats: Stretchpants (size 4XL), cloncho, fresh makeup.

Travel plans for most of us: Getting in the car and going to Aunt Kate and Uncle Bob's for a barbecue.
Travel plans for mats: Telling the family they must fly to Chicago and care for Aunt Lillian, who just broke her hip; secretly flying off to Texas instead to attend the Frisco Freedom Fest.

Standard exercise for most of us: Playing baseball or volleyball at family picnic.
Standard exercise for mats: Running and pushing everyone out of their way in order to sit down in front at tonight's concert.

Standard songs most of us will be hearing today: Star Spangled Banner, You're a Grand Old Flag, I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Standard songs most mats will be hearing today: Invisible, Moon River.

Favorite male iconic figure for most of us: Uncle Sam.
Favorite male iconic figure for mats: Jerome.

Favorite female iconic figures for most of us: Betsy Ross, the Statue of Liberty.
Favorite female iconic figures for mats: Angela, Quiana.

Most meaningful paper document for most of us: The Declaration of Independence.
Most meaningful paper document for mats: Flat Clay.

Most sentimental moment of the day for most of us: Getting momentarily misty-eyed when reflecting on the signing of the Declaration of Independence 231 years ago.
Most sentimental moment of the day for mats: Forty minutes of uncontrolled sobbing and hysteria when reflecting on how Ruben beat Clay 4 years ago.

Standard reason most of us will be using binoculars today: Fireworks!
Standard reason mats will be using binoculars today: Waldo!

Standard meal for most of us today: Hotdogs, burgers, potato salad.
Standard meal for mats today: All-u-can-buffet at the motel near the Frisco Freedom Fest. At the concert: Elephant Ears, Fried Waldo-on-a-stick, leftovers smuggled out of buffet in baggies and cloncho pockets.

Biggest laugh for most of us today: Humorously reminiscing with family and friends at our Fourth-of-July get-together.
Biggest laugh for mats today: "Banter." Bad “banter.” Really, really bad “banter.”

Proudest moment for most of us today: The realization that we live in a country where each of us has a vote in the presidential election.
Proudest moment for mats today: The realization that they live in a country where each of them has 455,691 phone-in votes in the Details “sexiest man alive contest.”

Standard scary/dramatic moment for most of us today: When Uncle Bob accidentally burns himself on the barbecue.
Standard scary/dramatic moment for mats today: When “bantering” Faiken makes "cute" remarks about pasty refried mess and uses terms like "mucho goodo,” inflaming the largely Mexican-American audience at the Frisco Fest (there to view the fireworks, not listen to this prejudiced performer) to storm the stage.

Loudest sound most of us will hear: Firecrackers.
Loudest sound mats will hear: Bellowing moose.

How most of us will spend the overnight hours: Peacefully sleeping and thinking about what a nice holiday it was.
How mats will spend the overnight hours: Following Faiken's bus in a caravan formation to his next concert location.
How Faiken will spend the overnight hours: Logging on to Manhunt on his iPhone, telling prospective hook-ups, “I have a very recognizable face...well, maybe not so recognizable anymore...but if you will pledge total secrecy, I can send you some pics taken with my mucho goodo new iPhone. If you like what you see, and live in the Dallas area, I can meet you within the hour. Just look for the big bus followed by twenty cars and a Clambulance.”

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

"Idol, the Musical" About Clay Aiken Fans Based on Flawed Premise

The musical based on deluded Claymates of AI runner-up Clay Aiken has prompted this comment from a Claymate:

The GEEK shall inherit the earth.
Posts: 6367
(6/30/07 9:33 pm)
The characters in the play do not sound anything like the majority of "us" on this board, at least. For one thing, they are teens. That is a good thing!

So, I'm taking the Alfred E. Newman stance: What me worry?”

This Claymate is right. The musical is completely inaccurate in its portrayal of Claymates as teenagers. In fact, Clay has very few teenage fans left. The average age of Clay’s fanbase has increased and skewed more and more towards older fans since the beginning.

An early post from the Clayboard:

-------------------------------------------------- -----------------
it seems that the vast majority of CLAYMATES are "middle aged women”.”

This Claymate is right.

Ages of Claymates on the Clayboard (survey done by ClayNation, Admin of the Clayboard in January, 2004):

ezOP & webmaster
Posts: 958
(1/13/04 3:33 pm)

NEW CLAY FAN AGE POLL! Clay fan, how old are you?
Our last age poll dated back to June 2003, so I'd like to start a survey from scratch. Please click on your age group and then click on VOTE. Then, you will see tabulated results of all those who participated. Please do not use the "post reply" button unless you would like to comment on the results! Thanks!

Results (total votes = 499):
19 or under 170 / 34.1%
20-29 84 / 16.8%
30-39 53 / 10.6%
40-49 87 / 17.4%
50 or over 105 / 21.0%

In early 2004, only 38.4% of Claymates were over 40 and 50.9% were under 30.

These proportions have drastically changed. Ages of Claymates on the OFC (surveys done by CH Claymate):

Survey done in August, 2006.

“Under 20 - 5% (47)
20-29 - 6.5% (62)
30-39 - 11% (104)
40-49 - 25.2% (239)
50-59 - 33.3% (316)
60+ - 19% (180)

Total = 948”

77.5% are over 40; 52.3% are over 50; 11.5% are under 30

Survey done in September, 2006 (after ADTW release)

“Under 20 - 4.8% (23)
20-29 - 10.6% (51)
30-39 - 16.6% (80)
40-49 - 28.9% (139)
50-59 - 28.5% (137)
60+ - 10.6% (51)

Total = 481”

68% are over 40; 15.4% are under 30.

Clay’s music primarily appeals to older fans, because they feel younger as a result of being Claymates. Also, Clay shaped his current fanbase by actively courting these fans. He realized that their level of obsession and devotion, that they are easily manipulated, combined with their “mature” status, would enable them to spend far more money on multiple CDs and more time and money to attend multiple concerts. Is it any wonder that most of Clay’s younger fans have felt abandoned and unimportant? No surprise at all. That’s not where the $$$ is.