Sunday, June 10, 2007

What's Really Going on with John Paulus and Clay Aiken?

On June 9, John Paulus wrote this as part of his commentary on an interview with Clay Aiken on Yahoo Music interview in which he criticized the efforts of “idol Gives Back”, among other things.

“I think Clay Aiken was totally in the wrong for the criticism he leveled at Idols Give Back (IGB) which he made during his interview with Yahoo Music. Such criticism could have a negative impact on a well intended charity's ability to raise funds for children living in desperate situations. If just one person who read or heard Clay Aiken's negative comments regarding IGB decided not to donate the result is another child left to suffer or go without an education. To sacrifice a child like this in a effort to show that he's humanitarianism is in some way more sincere or correct is self serving.

His criticism is a slap in the face to all the performers who took the time to participate and to all those who spent tireless days and nights working to organize such an effort. It's also an insult to those who donated. I am both disappointed and surprised. Perhaps, he will never change.”

John then went on to admit that Clay had lied, manipulated and used him for the past six months as many on this blog had warned him would happen. John’s own posts from his blog:

“Absolutely not. I said before that you cannot expect nearly 29 years of maladaptive behaviors to disappear completely in a few months or even a few years. You have to expect that from time to time a person will slip up and revert to those bad habits which they know, even if they are trying to change. Change is a process, not something where you snap your fingers and become a perfect person.”

Honey, I am not basing my opinion on just this one incident. Trust that I have other examples which aren't public. He has made VERY little effort to change. Actions speak louder than words.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 4:16 pm #
“You know - Clay Aiken may never become the person that WE want him to be - and may just be who he is - whatever that is. I don't think verbal beatings or put-downs on a public internet blog makes anyone a better person. Usually the reason why we do it is to convince others to feel the same way we do.”

Give it a break. If he wants to be a two-faced liar, who manipulates, connives, backstabs, is irresponsible, doesn't commit to anything, is lazy, selfish, insulting, and critical, then he can be. If he doesn't think he needs to change any of that then he will continue to lose friends, fans, and be shunned by the music industry.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 4:41 pm #
“Whew - You sound really pissed with all the name calling!! Feel better now?"

What? I don't see any name calling whatsoever. That's just a VERY stupid statement on your part. I see those as adjectives describing a person and adverbs describing their actions.

Namecalling would be things such as; whore, twerp, fag, fatso, etc. You saw none of that.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 4:50 pm #
John, what in the world has made you so mad at Clay?

First of all, I think his comments, no matter how they are construed are completely out of line. Second, I have my own reasons.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 4:59 pm #
John, I was hoping that you were right about Clay changing. I have to admit I thought you were too easy on him, but you had your reasons, and I figured that you knew more than us about him, after all. He still to me comes across as a selfish and arrogant guy who never thinks before he speaks.

I believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt until they prove they aren't deserving.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 5:22 pm #
I'm not defending Clay anymore after reading those IMs.. when JP said nasty things about the fans.. Clay did not defend them or tell John to knoick it off.. as a matter of fact.. he agreed with him at one point.. made me very sad to read but I'm glad I know now

There are others even more insulting.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 8:36 pm #
He's bright, and more informed than many, but he speaks without real knowledge most of the time.

There's nothing bright about him. If he was he would just keep quiet.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 9:07 pm #
“Faiken is smart enough to know he can manipulate honorable people who give their word and trust to help him. He lies to people in that "oh have pity on me, I have issues and am trying to change" bullshit way of his and sucks people in to give him what he wants while he laughs in their faces. He never intends anything he says. He says what is expedient and helps his bottom line but he never means what he says. It is all superficial bs with him. The honorable people expect him to act honorably but Faiken laughs at that and takes what he gets from them straight to the bank.”

I learned that this week.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 10:17 pm #

Uh, my disappointment with Clay has nothing to do with Ben. It's about Clay keeping promises and commitments and then contacting me when he needs something from me. I don't like being used.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 10:42 pm #
“YOU are finally coming to see that. It is hard to strip it all away and look at it for what it truly is. To do so takes courage and the realization that you have been used. No one wants to feel that so denial helps the pain. Feeling like it is somehow diffeent this time but it never is. The lies are just told more gently.............”

See this is where you have underestimated me. You have no idea about my conversations with him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt until the end of April. He blew it yesterday.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 10:49 pm #
Kiss or no kiss isn't talking to him. She and he got in a fight last month. He apparently lied to her and broke a bunch of promises. She was tired of being used and told me she's had it with him.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 10:52 pm #
Actually I hae never underestimated you. but I do believe Faiken has. You gave him a deadline to make what he said he was all about REAL. He didn't and you have every right to move on and call him out on the type of person he really is. He had no intention of meeting your deadline or your requirements. he said whatever he said to placate you which he did for awhile. He did not count on you actually having principles and standing up for them. When someone makes a promise they give you their word. The recipient also gives their word that they will wait, and support and be there during the process. Faiken probably felt he had you under control and could say anything he wanted. Good for you. If you have broken the cycle that comes from early abuse you should be celebrating the strength you have. Not being sucked in is a victory and not selling out is your first reward. Congrats.”

Unfortunately some of my own supporters underestimated me as well. I will always stick to my principles. I wanted to believe he would change and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He used me and lied. He deserves no respect from me.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 11:03 pm #
“In fact, many told of how they helped him time and time again, accepted his aplogies, listened to his sobbing confessions of guilt, only to realize later he cries on cue and knows exactly where everyone's buttons are. to your credit you were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt but leopards don't change their spots and now you join the club of those who already knew the outcome.”

I had to give him the benefit of the doubt. It's just who I am. He deceived me.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 11:14 pm #
“John, the reality is you were just waiting for him to screw up. You need to take this up with him instead of airing his dirty laundry publicly. His relationship with you, and that is what you have with him, is a private matter to be respected.”

First of all he had screwed up many times and we had many an argument. I continued to forgive him and accept his repeated apologies. If I was waiting for him to screw up I would have only needed to wait 2 weeks after his apology. Got it.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 11:17 pm #
I don't need to take it up with Clay. So I can hear the same nonsense from him? "I'm sorry John, I didn't mean to come across like that. I really like you and want to get to know you... maybe more I'm under a lot of pressure from my label and negotiations aren't going well. I need you to understand".

Hello. I'm not buying his crap.

John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 11:20 pm #
“I doubt he will be talking to you from now on.”

Let's see. I don't care. I don't need to talk to someone who lies, manipulates, uses, and deceives. Unlike the his Paychecks, I'm not dependent on him.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 11:48 pm #
During this period where John was “giving Clay the benefit of the doubt”, it appears that he was doing whatever he could to ingratiate himself with Clay, even to the point of lying (his recant) in an attempt to continue the fraud. Here are IMs that John posted of alleged conversations he had with Clay:

” Claymates are you ready for some shock and awe?

John Paulus (2/18/2007 2:17:08 PM): As far as the question did it refer to what I wrote above?
Clay (2/18/2007 2:20:30 PM): Yes it did. What I meant was time to see each other.
John Paulus (2/18/2007 2:22:01 PM): I don't know if I can see you today. I am an absolute mess. I was up all night fighting with those on Claymate411 trying to defend you and make them have a shred of compassion.
Clay (2/18/2007 2:24:10 PM): I hope we could see each other sometime soon
John Paulus (2/18/2007 2:24:59 PM): I can see you Tuesday- Friday or I can call into work sick one day if that would be better.
John Paulus (2/18/2007 2:25:26 PM): I hope you aren't upset with me.
John Paulus (2/18/2007 2:29:25 PM): Listen, I am going to sit down and eat with family. I will be back here in about an hour. Let me know if you want me to take off from work on any of those days or meet you this coming weekend.
Clay (2/18/2007 2:37:14 PM): Friday isnt good for me, I may still be in NY. I have a lot to do there while Im there for the morning show. Tuesday would be ok, I believe, as of now. Dont take a day off of work because of me.
Clay (2/18/2007 2:40:07 PM): Ill be here.
John Paulus Homepage 05.09.07 - 10:23 pm # “
“So here's a tease about the recant:

John Paulus (3/7/2007 5:41:37 PM): Are you there?
Clay (3/7/2007 5:42:15 PM): Yes I am. Things change. I can't keep making excuses, you won't believe me. So I just choose to shut my mouth.
John Paulus (3/7/2007 5:42:58 PM): I think I would rather hear your excuses than you ignoring me.
John Paulus (3/7/2007 5:43:26 PM): I think it would have been nice to have sent a message saying "something came up".
John Paulus (3/7/2007 5:44:44 PM): I damn near fell on my sword for you and am being called by papers and some media a liar.
Clay (3/7/2007 5:46:23 PM): Well that was your choice.
John Paulus (3/7/2007 5:46:47 PM): You bitch.
John Paulus (3/7/2007 5:46:52 PM): lol
Clay (3/7/2007 5:47:51 PM): It was your choice.
Clay (3/7/2007 5:47:55 PM): You didn't have to do what you did.
John Paulus (3/7/2007 5:47:59 PM): I know it was.
John Paulus (3/7/2007 5:48:56 PM): Well, I was hoping this way it would pull some of the old fans back into the fold and you could go forward with your new label and put everything else behind.

Clay (3/7/2007 5:49:12 PM): I'm going on with my life.
John Paulus Homepage 05.08.07 - 1:42 am # “

In the above IMs, Clay’s responses are cold and generic, refusing to show any appreciation for John’s efforts to lie for him with spin and even his recant. Of course, this is an obvious manipulative ploy to keep John trying to win his approval and gratitude. John’s previous blogs provided valuable information about himself that revealed how gullible and easily duped he would be, but more important, that he was the kind of person who Clay knew would be easily manipulated, given his desire to please and seek approval and attention. I appears that John has learned nothing from the initial manipulation by Clay right after their encounter, nor his shockingly na├»ve and gullible behavior in response to Michael Lucas.

“After everything John did to Clay last year, I can't believe that Clay ever trusted that John could really be his friend.”

First of all, I could have been his friend. For the last several months, Clay has used and manipulated me behind the scenes. Back in February he asked that I give him IP addresses of those who emailed and supported me so that he could have his "guy" look at them. Apparently it's someone that helps run the OFC. I would NOT reveal to him the many of my sources. After this his communication with me became fewer and fewer. Clay is not worthy of having any friends. He uses people. Right now Kristy is his Cinderella- assigned to clean his toilet. Maybe she'll wake up.
John Paulus Homepage 05.10.07 - 10:24 pm #
“Faiken thought mats from the OFC were posting on your blog in support of you? That was his story??? Doubtful that was the cross check reference he was really using but guess he had to have some sort of story.”

NO!!! Why is it so hard for some of you to understand? Clay was convinced, and rightfully so, that someone very close to him had been feeding me information. He wanted to know who they were. I would not give their names because much of the information came through email and I didn't know it. He wanted their IP's so he could see if they were at the OFC, because many of his friends are members.

You see, there is a lot of embarrasssing information I know about Clay that I have NEVER shared on my old blog, but that he knows that I know. In fact, he was shocked that I knew so much. He knows that for me to know what I know only friends or family could have told me.
John Paulus Homepage 05.10.07 - 10:51 pm #
“so once or if Faiken learned the identity of posters what would he do with that information? Give it to uncle jess? what was he going to do? take their birthday away??”

If he discovered they were his friends he would stop talking. If he found out which family member, probably cut them off.
John Paulus Homepage 05.10.07 - 10:53 pm #
“See, he WAS using you.”

Of course he was. Like I said, I gave him time to change. I didn't expect it to happen over night, but after 6 months of continuing to lie to me and so forth I said enough is enough.
John Paulus Homepage 05.10.07 - 10:55 pm #
“November 6th. Close to Clay's birthday and when John closed down his original blog.”

November 5th, Matt Clemens blog.
John Paulus Homepage 05.10.07 - 11:31 pm #
You see, there is a lot of embarrasssing information I know about Clay that I have NEVER shared on my old blog, but that he knows that I know. In fact, he was shocked that I knew so much. He knows that for me to know what I know only friends or family could have told me.
John Paulus Homepage 05.10.07 - 10:51 pm #

So, given everything that John had admitted to having been lied to, manipulated and used by Clay (as 411ers warned him), an interesting question to John was posed last night:

” I'd like to ask you a serious question, John.

Why, when you have admitted that Clay lied to and manipulated you over the past 6 months, do you want to have anything to do with him still? I'm sorry, but it's starting to sound like an unnatural and creepy obsession, especially since there is a cloud of evidence hanging over Clay's head at all times.
Dramamine 06.10.07 - 4:49 am #”

Instead of answering the question, this is what John responded:

” Dramamine-

I am cordial to him. That's it.
John Paulus Homepage 06.10.07 - 4:52 am # “

Obviously, this is not a response to the question and it is doubtful that there is a reasonable response. John just needs to be honest and admit that he has become part of Clay’s propaganda machine, even to the point of outright lying in his characterization of the posters on this blog. John is like a yo-yo, changing his opinion constantly, but the end goal always appears to be maintaining a connection to Clay, however tenuous, no matter how he is treated, even under very strange circumstances of coercion.

The question remains as to why John wants to maintain a “relationship” with such an individual. That has not yet been answered.

One possibility is that John needs to have a storybook ending to this entire saga, to validate his efforts over that past 17 months. He needs to feel that he has been the instrument of Clay miraculously changing from a liar, manipulator and user, and desperately grasps at even the most miniscule straw, spinning it to fit his agenda. Another is the obvious one of needing a connection to a celebrity, no matter how insignificant, to receive attention. Finally, is this just a lame attempt to save face?

John can say whatever he wishes about anything or anyone posting here, but he cannot change the truth. He’s trying very hard to do so, and has sacrificed every shred of integrity, honor and credibility that he ever had. Let’s hope that his reward is worth the steep price to him.


New Blog By Clay Aiken:Damage Control

06/09/07 : Clarity in Cabo

Here I sit in Cabo San Lucas. It seems like the past week has been a whirlwind tour! I have come down to Mexico for my manager, Simon's, 50th birthday surprise party. Now let me tell you... that's a funny invitation to get. "We want to invite you to a surprise birthday party, but you have to fly yourself to another country and get a hotel room!" HA HA. And I, being the confused and incompetant person that I am, got the date wrong anyway. I scheduled my flight from Europe to get me here on the 8th, because I knew that Simon's birthday was the 8th, and that his party was on the night of the 9th. When I arrived at my hotel after 3 flights, 8 time zones, 16 hours in the air, and 26 hours awake straight, I had intended to go directly to bed. I was exhausted. But, when I got to my room, I was so excited by the cool view that I called one of the other managers who had traveled down just to comment on how nice the place was. When i reached her on the phone she said, "Where are you?"

I had incorrectly assumed that the party was on the 9th. It was on the 8th. Unshaven, slovenly dressed, and probably smellling worse than the refried beans, I made my way to the surprise party. Remarkably underdressed! Just like me to be classy!!

But, sitting on the balcony and looking at the ocean today has gotten me quite excited about this summer's tour. I have unofficially called it the "Soft Rock and a Hard Place" tour or "A Soft Rock gathers no moss" tour, because it REALLY is a soft rock show. That's what you get with an orchestra. But I am so PUMPED at how amazing some of these ATDW songs are going to sound with full orchestra. Especially in great venues like the Greek Theater in LA. (if you have never been ther, and you are able to, GO to that show.. unbelievable venue!)

Jesse has been working had to make sure every song has an amazing arrangement with the strings and the horns, and has taken some of the songs that are not on ATDW that I wanted to do for you and made them sound great too. We are going to take a very interesting and never before taken walk down a "memory lane" of sorts that you probably never would have thought to take, but one that I am sure will bring back interesting memories for many. (It has for me, and I am so loving this part of the show) And, I have given Jesse and the symphonies another musical assignment that I can almost GUARANTEE they have never had to undertake before. Like with most of our shows, I really have no idea whether that part is going to succeed or not... but I am SURE it is going to be fun. And we are going to do it all in the most laid back casual way yet. So, all of you who haven't bought you tickets yet because you don't want to st on the grass.... bring your blanket and chill with us. (lots of folks have told me that such and such a city is sold out... but it isn't true. Many of the cities have sold out their covered seating, but there are tons of lawn seats available in many of these places. Bug spray people!!)

We are going to have a good time... and you know as well as I do, no two shows are the same. I am sure to mess up in a different place every night!!

Now on to serious matters...

With regard to the message board shut down, I apologize for not being more informed.
My initial understanding was that the message boards were becoming somewhat of a breeding ground for negativity and in fighting. I was told they were going to be shut down for a short period of time to try to clean house.

At the time, I just took that information and quite honestly, ignored it. I have always felt it best to let people do their jobs without interfering and micro-managing. So, I let the folks who run the fansite do what they felt was best.

Now, more informed, a shut down may not have been the best thing. I will take responsibility for not being as informed and involved as I should have been, and I will apologize.The truth is, in a group as diverse and energetic as this wonderful fan group is, it is impossible to agree on everything. Heck, if everyone did life would be boring. I think that having a forum to discuss and disagree (and even argue) is not only an exciting benefit of technology, but also a great way to de-stress and spend quality time with people who you care about.

With that in mind, I have emailed the "powers that be" and asked them to turn the message boards back on by Monday morning. (Mind you, they are on the west coast.) I don't always get my way, but I will hope that they will listen.

Please use the message boards in the way they were intended, to express yourself freely. Celebrate. Discuss. Anticipate. Speculate. Complain. Heck, even criticize. I have no problem with criticism. in fact, I have been known in the past to read messages left by fans online and make changes to my shows/songs/etc.That's what a message board is for.

The teacher in me wants to say "you know, if you want to use the message board to beat up on each other and tear each other down, go for it. Enjoy yourselves." And the truth is, from now on, if thats really what it comes to, so be it.

However, I don't think that is the desire or hope of more than 99% of the folks that frequent the OFC.With regard to that small 1%, I would love to impart a little wisdom my mother tried to pass on to me when I got picked on relentlesly in middle school.

IGNORE!!!There is NOTHING that upsets a bully more than to be ignored.

NOTHING!Trust me! It will work everytime.If someone says something you don't like, rebut with your opinion. That's great.If they are only trying to cause a reaction or get you upset, ignore them. I swear it's the most painful thing you can do to them. And, eventually, they'll give up.

I wish I had believed my mom when she told me that in middle school. But, now, at 28 (God I feel old!), I finally know that she was right all along. Try it yourself.

Again, I apologize for not stepping in sooner and asking them not to do the shut down in the first place.I promise you that I will do everything within my power to make sure that, with the exception of scheduled maintenance or an uncontrollable circumstance, the message boards are never shut down for punative reasons again. It isn't fair.

We all continue to work really hard to make you all proud. You have done so much for me in the past four years, it's really impossible to repay you. I'll promise to continue doing my best every day to make you as proud of me as I am of all of you!

Edited to add"

Someone also pointed out something else I will respond to... I do defend the people I care about, but I stopped defending my mother because she told me to. She said, "I don't care about what other people say about me. Let them call me fat. Let them call me stupid. Let them call me ugly. It doesn't make it true."

So she told me to ignore them as well.

I KNOW that it is much harder to ignore when someone says something about someone you care about. And, i'll tell you, I could not be more honored and more blessed to have such amazing supporters who would go to the mat for me.

(As someone posted in response to my last blog: "Charlie only had three angels. [I] sure got him beat!) I thank you.

But believe me when i say, "Let them call me fat. Let them call me stupid. Let them call me ugly. It doesn't make it true." Ignore them. I'll love you anyway!And, eventually, they'll give up.



Current Mood:Confused

Currently Listening to:the ocean

Above is the latest blog from Clay Aiken. In it, Clay SEEMS to do something he has never done before: address a controversy that surrounds him. One might even think that this blog presented a "change" in Clay Aiken if not for the knowledge that the controversy in question is going to be published in "The Enquirer"next week.

What this blog is, is an attempt at damage control. It never would have been written if not for the upcoming article.

Maybe it's me, but I don't see Clay Aiken say much of anything here.

We learned that Clay Aiken turned up someplace looking like a slob. No surprises there.

We learned that apparently
his tour isn't selling the way Clay would like, because there seems to be begging of the fans to buy more than ONE show.

As far as the controversy at his OFC and the message board being shut down, the only people *I* saw get a swat were the mods and admins of that board. Other than that it was not a clear message at all about the controversy.

He identifies a small group of fans as trouble makers, but doesn't indicate which group that is. There are two groups that come to mind and I'm sure right now, each is claiming victory and pointing at the other.

This blog from Clay does not clarify. It leaves everything open to perception. He calls out the "bullies" but not by name. He also thanks the mates who "go to the mat" for him, but isn't thanking them just encouraging more?

Then Clay added a special addendum that essentially said "don't believe everything you hear". That is just another way of saying what he's said all along "People will believe what they want to believe".

The controversy at the OFC was NOT about anyone saying that Aiken is UGLY, FAT or STUPID. The controversy at the OFC was about the implication that Clay is gay.

That is clear to ANYONE familiar with the controversy.

It's all about Clay's sexuality.

Again, Aiken is content to let people believe he is straight, saying "just because someone says something doesn't make it so".

Wordy as this new blog is, it says a lot of nothing.

This blog probably never would have been written if not for the coverage in the "National Enquirer".

Any thinking person can see what this blog is.

Damage Control.