How Do Americans Celebrate Independence Day?

In this such a festive day, take time to pray for our brave troops fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, for their safe return home.

Upon reading the following post by our own Calliyuck, it merited being the focus of this new blog today.


Standard greeting for most of us: "Happy Fourth of July!"
Standard greeting for mats: "Happy Concert Day!"

Standard outfit for most of us: Shorts, T-shirt, tennis shoes.
Standard outfor for mats: Stretchpants (size 4XL), cloncho, fresh makeup.

Travel plans for most of us: Getting in the car and going to Aunt Kate and Uncle Bob's for a barbecue.
Travel plans for mats: Telling the family they must fly to Chicago and care for Aunt Lillian, who just broke her hip; secretly flying off to Texas instead to attend the Frisco Freedom Fest.

Standard exercise for most of us: Playing baseball or volleyball at family picnic.
Standard exercise for mats: Running and pushing everyone out of their way in order to sit down in front at tonight's concert.

Standard songs most of us will be hearing today: Star Spangled Banner, You're a Grand Old Flag, I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Standard songs most mats will be hearing today: Invisible, Moon River.

Favorite male iconic figure for most of us: Uncle Sam.
Favorite male iconic figure for mats: Jerome.

Favorite female iconic figures for most of us: Betsy Ross, the Statue of Liberty.
Favorite female iconic figures for mats: Angela, Quiana.

Most meaningful paper document for most of us: The Declaration of Independence.
Most meaningful paper document for mats: Flat Clay.


Most sentimental moment of the day for most of us: Getting momentarily misty-eyed when reflecting on the signing of the Declaration of Independence 231 years ago.
Most sentimental moment of the day for mats: Forty minutes of uncontrolled sobbing and hysteria when reflecting on how Ruben beat Clay 4 years ago.

Standard reason most of us will be using binoculars today: Fireworks!
Standard reason mats will be using binoculars today: Waldo!

Standard meal for most of us today: Hotdogs, burgers, potato salad.
Standard meal for mats today: All-u-can-buffet at the motel near the Frisco Freedom Fest. At the concert: Elephant Ears, Fried Waldo-on-a-stick, leftovers smuggled out of buffet in baggies and cloncho pockets.

Biggest laugh for most of us today: Humorously reminiscing with family and friends at our Fourth-of-July get-together.
Biggest laugh for mats today: "Banter." Bad “banter.” Really, really bad “banter.”

Proudest moment for most of us today: The realization that we live in a country where each of us has a vote in the presidential election.
Proudest moment for mats today: The realization that they live in a country where each of them has 455,691 phone-in votes in the Details “sexiest man alive contest.”

Standard scary/dramatic moment for most of us today: When Uncle Bob accidentally burns himself on the barbecue.
Standard scary/dramatic moment for mats today: When “bantering” Faiken makes "cute" remarks about pasty refried mess and uses terms like "mucho goodo,” inflaming the largely Mexican-American audience at the Frisco Fest (there to view the fireworks, not listen to this prejudiced performer) to storm the stage.

Loudest sound most of us will hear: Firecrackers.
Loudest sound mats will hear: Bellowing moose.

How most of us will spend the overnight hours: Peacefully sleeping and thinking about what a nice holiday it was.
How mats will spend the overnight hours: Following Faiken's bus in a caravan formation to his next concert location.
How Faiken will spend the overnight hours: Logging on to Manhunt on his iPhone, telling prospective hook-ups, “I have a very recognizable face...well, maybe not so recognizable anymore...but if you will pledge total secrecy, I can send you some pics taken with my mucho goodo new iPhone. If you like what you see, and live in the Dallas area, I can meet you within the hour. Just look for the big bus followed by twenty cars and a Clambulance.”