Saturday, June 9, 2007

CIVIL WAR ERUPTS AT OFC REGARDING THE SEXUALITY OF CLAY AIKEN!!

This just in:

ESCALATING UNREST, PEACE TALKS UNDERWAY

Apparently Page Six may have caused a bit of a stir with our FIRST HAND report of the hissy fit Mr. Clay Aiken threw in Calgary last week, in the sordid 'lost passport' affair.

The National Enquirer called us for comment on Friday, regarding a report indicating that, "full-on civil war" had broken out at The Clay Aiken Fan Club, between "the batty members that are still clinging to their heterosexual fantasies of him, and others that don't harbour such illusions.

"The report went on to say that, "the turmoil was initiated after an innocuous Page Six report from the Calgary Sun was posted as a reported Clay sighting. It got so bad that the Official Fan Club has now completely suspended their message board and posted a notice about it. The nutso fans are known to attack anyone that dares breathe a perceived negative slight against the blessed Clay, and God forbid a gay innuendo about him might be implied.

"Page Six would like to clarify that it has nothing personal against the obviously talented reality television contestant, and certainly would hate to cause 'extensive unrest' amongst the members of the 'official' fan club as their site claims is unfolding.

While we are surprised by these same fan club members telling us to 'get a life,' and threats from the fan-atical club that 'severe consequences may occur,' we'll summarize this apparent disaster by clarifying that we simply report a shrieky celebrity-hollar for the prime minister like we see it."

http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Alberta/2007/06/09/4247093-sun.html